Snoopy Dance

Unless you're living in a cave you can't avoid knowing that Obama got Osama. No, you couldn't avoid it even then. Amercian cave dwellers know Republicans, and the Republicans are out dancing in the streets like Palestinians watching a skyscraper fall. S'alright though as you'll note we're no longer in a war, the economy is showering rainbows over retirement funds, and the US President has bested Putin in a contest of Pec flexing. So now we're all doing the marionette cheer:

America, Fuck yeah! Baby oil and protein shakes on the house, Baby! That Bald Eagle by on the barstool there? That's not his ditty bag he's layin' on the bar. Go on over with a ruler and see for yourself.

After 8 long years of letting po' farm boys repair their dignity the New Yawkers finally have their revenge againt the Dude of Doom. They're not slowing down for you. And they're not going to pause a nonce to ask just what they're celebrating.

That the British Subject Jughead Rex, under his authority granted by the American Citizenry and the US Constitution, violated a Nuke Club Country to assassinate one of their icons -- who never killed a 'Merkin -- after sitting on actionable intelligence over 8 years and across a pair of US Beauty Queens.

Read it twice and read it slow. Go check your notes if you need. Osama simply facilitated the planning that others did to mangle a rough 3500 Yankee meatsuits because they inconvenienced the actual murderers. That's the same moral cover and far smaller scale than every American that's ever voted for a Pro-Kill-My-Kid-Because-My-Figure-Will-Be-Ruined candidate running for the local board.

Butbutbutbut... It's Different!?

Bullshit. Charles Manson is rotting in prison longer than the trigger-pullers for dong more than giving moral support to some folks that laid some Actresses low; and Actors aren't real people. Osama was involved only in round table discussions about the thing, and it's not like New Yorkers are a real human being even if you add 3500 of them together. If that's worth getting all Hitler at Barbarossa against a nuclear armed country then we should have long ago turned California into a glass parking lot simply for the notion that Nancy Pelosi lives there. Or even beat Bin Laden to the punch and had some Nat Guard reservists loiter on one end to capsize Long Island.

There is no difference between discussing the killing of a human being because you find them inconvenient and discussing the killing a human being because you find them inconvenient.

That's right, we're not even talking about the beneficent act of getting all Seal Team 6 either. Just the mission planning for Seal Team 6.

As for the conspiracy theorists? Screw 'em, they're loopy. There's no way that we did this on 8 years of intelligence we ignored, that Wikileaks invented fresh a week ago, that was in a college dissertation from 2 years back. It's all pure, clean fun.

And it's absolutely certain we got killed again the guy we killed in a mountain cave years ago. We have the DNA from his sister that couldn't match his sister against his sister provided -- apparently -- 2 hours too early from the PCR machine that the US Navy installs on all its boats. Which doesn't matter as we've got pictures and live video from the action that proves beyond a doubt that it's him; that we can't release because his face was blown off by a bullet that wouldn't have blown his face off. And there's no way we'd have thrown the body overboard before we got positive identification. Besides we're talking here about the President of the United States of America and the wet dreams of his electoral opposition.

President Bill Clinton was, in comparison to Jughead Rex, a real Man. A man of virtue, contemplation and sober consideration. And when he wanted to change the media conversation about his tastes in oral sex and the Freudian Cigar he toted around? S'right, he murdered women and children manufacturing medicine in Africa. Hey claimed they were turrists, natch.

Well, he only planned it. The US Navy did the deed.

But that puts Mr. Clinton squarely between Manson and Osama in the scale of people that planned the murders of others they found inconvenient. That remains true even when you add in the children he found useful to incinerate in a basement. So I think you'll see my it's the depth of moonbattery to give any credence to the claim that Jughead Rex, Boy King of Narcissus, could ever rise or stoop to such lofty levels as we expect out of the mature members of the American political class. Be assured Winston that we have always had an honest government.

And on that note and in good moral standing within the American milieu? Imma start drawing maps of Abortion clinics and mail them off to Seal Team 6. Or they're Commander in Chief. Then we can all dance atop the doghouse.